It definitely seems like more of a “guy thing” and actually I’m not sure why that should be. But I must admit that, six weeks in, I’m really feeling the benefits from my bench-press challenge. And not just the bulging bicep aspect.
I’ve never been a “gym-rat” kind of guy. As a kid, I had big operations on my lower legs and had to learn to walk all over again aged about 6. This achieved, it just seemed to settle within me that I was not the athletic type, that my body was more fragile and that I was more the thinking type.
I didn’t actually challenge this perception of myself until I was well into my fifties. At that age, mysteriously, going to the gym began to appeal to me. It would make its way into my daily life for some months at a time before I’d drop it. I was attracted more to the machines, rather than the weights room. I think that was through fear of looking like a total wimp in comparison to some of the monstrous dudes who would lurk in that part of the building. On the odd occasion that I did bench-press a little, I noticed that I could just about get a barbell with two 10kg weights above my chest before near collapse.
Arriving in Tbilisi, Georgia at the beginning of June, I pretty soon signed up with a local gym. My mind was busy with bench-pressing because a guy I follow on social media had said that a man should at least be able to bench-press his own weight. This triggered something within me and I looked into it a little more. It seemed that, for a guy entering his sixties, like myself, being able to bench-press 70% of my bodyweight would represent a good level of fitness. I decided to work towards this.
Beginning from a barbell with a 10kg weight on each end, I daily went at it, increasing a little each week. It wasn’t til I was a month in that I realised that the bar itself weighed 20kg! Meaning that I was by now already past my target of 55kg. Okay, cool, I thought. Let’s just keep going. Now I’m pressing my body-weight and will continue trying to increase 5kg a week and see how far I can take it.
Aside of the whole bicep and pec thing, the thing I notice most is an increased sense of grounding, of just being present in my body and feeling attached to the earth.
I have always had a strong tendency to dissociate from my body, for as far back as I can remember. Looking back now, the years of intense therapy that I did was mostly aimed at getting more of my awareness back in my body and trying to keep it there. In the last year, I have been working more and more at releasing the layers of the tension that have accumulated around my head and neck from too long spent not in my body. In this endeavour, I often have the sense of taking five steps forward and then four back! But, little by little, I do see improvements.
In the language of Character Structure, this tendency to dissociate from the body, when triggered emotionally, is nowadays known as the Leaving Structure or Leaving Pattern. In the old days, it was called being “Schizoid.”
Treating this condition with Reichian Breathwork, the main areas to work are the forehead, ocular and oral rings of tension. This is done with exercises that systematically tense these muscle groups whilst breathing with the belly and chest in a specific manner.
Within the related therapy of Bioenergetics, three reps of the Bow and Arch sequence daily will also help, possibly augmented by the Shoulders Raised posture in the middle.
Workouts like these are excellent and most definitely effective. Over the course of months, muscle groups start to open and feeling begins to re-enter the body.
The deeper issue with treating dissociation from the body, however, is that mental states, once normalised within us, tend to act as autonomous agents. They seek to continue. Our personality in many ways is a reflection of our learned patterns of self-avoidance. Thus, doing the Reichian or Bioenergetic work will begin to integrate what’s repressed, but our habitual mental states will nevertheless seek to continue.
There may no longer be any need for us to be so defensive, for example. We have now integrated the energy repressed around certain childhood woundings. We are way more comfortable with being vulnerable. Yet, the mental state associated with defensiveness - perhaps arrogance or acting dumb - nevertheless continues. It acts as though it has agency. It’s rather as though it has occupied our brain - like some kind of lodger or parasite - and isn’t about to leave without sustained effort on our part!
This is my way of saying that no approach that could back up the Reichian or Bioenergetic work should be dismissed. And what I notice when I’m lying on the bench, struggling to push the barbell up, is that the muscles around the base of my neck and between my shoulder blades are being strongly worked.
On a psycho-physical level, these muscles relate to heart-opening and mystical experience. We “open our heart” from the front, the centre of our chest. If you’ve ever been in deep grief, you will notice this sense of energy pouring out from here. But we “close our heart” from the back, by tensing the muscles between our shoulder blades and around our lower neck. Whilst these muscles are tight, our access to vulnerability is limited, which can make us feel more confident. But which also blocks healing and deeper experience.
Bench-pressing works these muscles. And if you carry on feeling your body, as you gradually work the weight up, you will find that the power of your mind to pull you away into its world is diminished. This opening gives the individual a much deeper sense of presence. Our need to relate to the world through conceptual filters decreases. We no longer have a need to interpret stuff. We have the option of just being present.
This capacity to simply be with the ever-changing and drama-creating nature of our thinking mind, to simply “hold” it in our loving presence, has been associated with the masculine aspect of consciousness for aeons. On a deeper level, it seems to be the behaviour that most defines masculinity.
If this article piques your interest, maybe check out bench-pressing for a while. Feel free to relate your experience in the comments below.
Thank you for reading.
Devaraj
Great read Devarag; the last couple of months I have not visited my log cabin (gym), I have been doing gardening (which breaks my back), also a lot of dancing when at festivals, just recently went to Bhuddafield, I danced with the teenagers to some mad type of music, a mix of techno, drum & bass etc, I surprised myself at being able to go from 10pm to midnight with the odd break for a drink of water. I want to back to muscle building because I know how important it is for someone my age (60), so I must force myself to go back, I tell myself. I would love to see a picture of your chest! Love & hugs
It is interesting I think to consider the effects too of repetitive motions. I've been paddleboarding a lot this summer, normally early morning when there are often a calm couple of hours before the breeze picks up. I zone out a bit looking at surroundings and microadjusting balance, but for an hour or more I am twisting my core and opening my chest out. I usually land on a beach for a while and stretch on the board before heading back and I've noiticed that days that start this way always end up being "good" days. My stance is different and it counters my tendency to stoop and I walk around feeling a bit superhero!