Why not Everyone needs Hyper-protection

One of many social changes I see, as we come out of the “Covid times,” are large numbers of people realising that they need to treat themselves with a great deal more care than they previously had.

A lot of people seem to be waking up to the reality that, for years, they have been pushing themselves too hard, and that Covid has proven to be the “straw that broke the camel’s back.” They find themselves in anxiety, or depressed, or struggling with motivation, struggling to get through the day.

Interest in stress, anxiety and the human nervous system seems to be at an all-time high. Many people are realising that they need to hugely de-stress. They need to change their diet; their use of drugs, alcohol or tobacco; their sleep patterns; their self-talk.

It’s all good. But there is in all this, one important point that I think needs to be picked up…

Not everyone needs this.

Not everyone needs to change their diet. Not everyone needs to learn meditation or practice yoga. Not everyone needs to only breathe through the nose or be in bed by 9pm.

Many, many people still have more than enough resilience to continue with their lifestyle as before.

I make this point for two reasons.

Firstly, if you are suffering high anxiety, lack of motivation, depression or similar, it will hugely benefit you to accept that this is your personal condition, and not a global state that needs some kind of government action.

Why? Because there is this way that we avoid taking action and responsibility by putting the onus outside of us. It’s a learned behaviour to reduce self-examination and the sense of stress that comes with it. But it doesn’t work, except as a short-term band-aid. Finally, it just creates victimhood. Because it is the behaviour of a victim to believe that it is something outside of them that needs to change in order for them to be okay. That’s just one of those horrible rules of psychology that most of us wish wasn’t true.

It feels intense to simply say “I am struggling now.” There is often a temptation to add “… and I think many other people are the same.” But when you add the additional line, you risk reducing your capacity to take responsibility and to take action.

Now, if you are in so much anxiety or negative feelings that you feel you need to blame something outside of yourself, because it’s just too much to take personal responsibility right now, then fair enough. Blame away. It’s okay. It’s not so terrible.

But, if you see that you could more own your personal feelings, and not make them global, then you put yourself more in the position of being the one who can heal themselves, and then support others to do the same.

There is a second reason why it is good to take as much personal responsibility for our condition as we feel we possibly can.

The more that we make anxiety, depression, lack of motivation or nihilistic tendencies a global condition that needs government action… the more we create that reality for ourselves and give power to those aspects of government that want more control.

Do you really want to do this?

What I have learned through being in therapy, self-treating and working as a therapist is that it is always in both my and the world’s interest for me to take as much responsibility for my life as I feel capable of.

Thank you for reading.