Other Names
This Character Type was originally labelled “the Masochist” by Wilhelm Reich.
Safety Strategy
The fundamental safety strategies employed by the Endurer type are to avoid any form of confrontation, to bury their individuality deep inside of them and to seek to simply “survive” life. Their inner world is filled with angst and images of violence, strongly at odds with their outer appearance of being calm and grounded.
Origins
As developing infants, we first start to express negativity around the age of two. Our way of forging an ego is through resisting that which our parents, or other care-givers, wish us to do. Although kids at this time can appear to be deliberately annoying and drama-creating, they are also very sensitive. If a parent is over zealous in trying to keep their two-year old quiet and under control, it seems that the child’s nervous system may perceive this as a threat of ostracism and simply shut down their access to anger and outward expression.
From that time on, the life of the Endurer becomes simply a “survival trip.” Their own nervous system won’t allow them to be outwardly expressive and so they have to learn to work around any expression of their own needs. They bear life as a heavy burden and simply find ways to get through the day.
It can be interesting to note the social-political significance of the Endurer character, as they do make up a big chunk of the traditional workforce. Social theorists with a Marxist background often perceive the issue with Capitalism to be solely the exploitative behaviour of the ruling class. Yet, the inability of the Endurer to confront authority, often mediated unconsciously by their nervous system, is the other side of the coin. Endurers need external authorities to fight their corner for them.
Positive Qualities
Endurers make loyal companions, willing workers and caring friends. They are the ones who quietly get on with the job, whether it be on the shop floor, bringing up the family or being the friend that you can always rely on. They take on the drudge tasks and are always around. It would be hard to imagine Western civilization surviving for long without the input of the millions of Endurers who steadfastly continue working, come rain come shine. All they ask is to be treated with a modicum of respect, to at times be left alone and to be allowed to survive.
Unlike the other Character Types, Endurers are generally well-grounded individuals. Their safety strategy has been to push everything down. Whilst this blocks the development of their individuality, it does mean that energetically their centre of gravity is down low, near the ground.
Negative Attributes
Although Endurers indeed make loyal workers and friends, deep inside they harbour a multitude of resentments. They didn’t become the way they are through self-awareness, rather through being, as they experienced it, brutalised into submission in early infancy.
The fear that they have of allowing their true feelings to show, especially anger, has been written deep into their musculature and now exists as a constant unconscious inhibiting mechanism. They simply do what they need to do to survive, on autopilot. However, their inner world tends be filled with this suppressed conflict. They seek ways to release the cauldron of internal pressure without actually getting angry. Frequently this manifests as grumbling, gossiping and complaining.
At work, they will be the guys muttering in the background about the boss, or the system, as they go about their daily tasks. Yet, at the same time, keeping a big smile on their face. Any suggestion that they should actually do something about the complaints that they have might be listened to on the surface. But their terror of confronting authority means that they will never act upon such suggestions.
Endurers who are married, or in a relationship, will often refer to their partner as “she (or he) who must be obeyed” or similar, trying to make light of their willing slavery. Whilst terrified of confronting authority directly, Endurers will nevertheless frequently subtly undermine their boss, or the company. They invariably do it in such a manner that it is not possible to pin such actions directly upon them. Endurers thus love to have rules and regulations that they can invoke (external protective authorities such as Health & Safety) to hold up the forward movement of projects.
The extreme level of angst that makes up the inner world of the Endurer may at times rise to levels that they find unbearable, leading to deep despair and suicidal thoughts.
Appearance
Endurers are more likely to be male though by no means exclusively so.
They tend to be heavyset or musclebound. However, their musculature developed to keep their raging inner world suppressed and hidden.
They may have a short bull-neck.
They may appear big and dangerous but are invariably passive.
Behaviour
Although they may look scary, Endurers are passive in behaviour.
They tend to complain and grumble.
They submit to authority on the surface but will undermine authority if they can do so without being seen.
They sometimes act as though they are stupid so that they don’t need to take on more responsibility.
They may act as though they are interested in change, but when possibilities emerge they will invariably find reasons why they can’t get involved.
They are hardworking and reliable
They exhibit little sense of joy in what they do, or in life generally
Psychology
The Endurer perceives life as a burden that needs to be endured.
Their nervous system shut down their outward expression of emotion when they were aged about two. This happened because their parents tried to get some control over them at this age. The parental action may have actually been minor but their nervous system reacted in this manner. So there could be a genetic predisposition.
Their developing ego was thus “broken” and they learned that life was something that just needed to be survived without expectation of improvement.
Their musculature developed to suppress their inner emotionality, especially their rage.
Their inner world is marked by opposing forces, angst, conflict and stress. Revenge fantasies are common.
There is invariably huge suppressed anger.
Will easily get entangled with the Aggressive Type, not least because both have core woundings around authority.
Endurers are terrified of directly confronting perceived authorities.
They have an especially dominating superego (Freud) that controls their thinking and behaviour, telling them what is or is not acceptable or safe. It’s rather as though there is a real tyrant living in the top of their head, ever threatening to descend on them like a ton of bricks.
Treatment Direction
The big issue with the Endurer is determining whether the condition has become simply habitual behaviour or whether their nervous system is still actively shutting them down. The former can be treated by getting access to anger. The latter needs a more gentle approach, trying to get the nervous system defences to finally stand down.
The Endurer needs to learn the value of their own feelings, even though they have been suppressed and denied for so long. For this reason, having a theoretical understanding of the condition can be very useful for them. They especially have to accept that huge suppressed rage will be there.
Like those strong in the Leaving Type, it is invariably a slow process for the Endurer to change. It is their nervous system that has to start to allow a heap of blocked, outgoing emotions. Suitably crafted affirmations can help with this.
Learning to express anger will not be easy for them and may trigger defensive reactions.
It is fairly common for Endurers to shut down heavily if they try to create change too quickly. They may exhibit the symptoms of chronic fatigue and be unable to continue. This is likely mediated by their nervous system and not within their control.
It can be great for Endurers to simply play like children, especially with others.
Exercises that allow them to progressively learn to trust can be very useful.
Although Endurers will start out submissive to authority, it’s important to be aware that this is merely a learned behaviour. As they learn to come into a more authentic relationship with their personal power, it’s common for them to act out on authority.
Endurers can make very challenging clients. They have a deep distrust and desire for revenge over perceived authority figures beneath the surface.
Expressing anger will bring up other beasts such as inferiority. For example, if I am inferior then it does not make sense to stand up for myself. Of course we do feel anger and pain of not able to express it not to mention the shame of being internally and externally evaluated as spineless or such put-down terms. I suspect panic attacks in public are actually possible threat of having to face a situation where I have to stand my ground and protect my boundaries to breathe life and knowing that I am restrcited in such movements.
Being bullied into submission in school times later I tried to maintain anrtificial toughness around so that people might not come near me to bully me and expose my helplessness--of course such artificial gimmicks failed hard later embarassingly :) .
I do let punch with felt-sense of pain in my shoulders upper-back etc as however the pain wants to punch and breath life through the body.
Very interesting. Makes for good bureaucrats. I have often seen American parents as somewhat over-correcting and Scandinavians too permissive. Portuguese seems to strike a happy ballance. Portuguese have a famous disregard for authority whereas both Americans and Scandinavians are far too tolorant of corruption. I see Trump as a 'paradoxical Endurer,' lots of bluster but a real Chicken when tough decisions need to be made. After all, what else is 'The Art of the Deal' if not that! A giant bluff.