Energy is a Vital Component in Change

Why treating low self-esteem can feel like torture!

Understanding, Awareness, Energy

Coming to understand our inner dynamic through the concepts of psychology is great. Perhaps we see how our relationship with our dad, when we were 7 years old, left us desperate for the approval of authority, a trait that continues throughout our life. Or how our deeply-sensed lack of connection with our mum left us willing to do anything in order to stay close to our partner, twenty-five years later.

Developing self-awareness is likewise great. We become aware of that sudden urge to snack on those Doritos in our cupboard, and elect to not do that, instead of simply following the blind impulse. Or we find ourselves about to marginalise ourselves in a confrontational social situation and instead choose to stand our ground.

So, understanding and self-awareness are very useful. But, of themselves, I find they are rarely enough to create personal change.

The vital third factor is energy. The more that we feel filled with energy, the more we will challenge ourselves to achieve more and to thus go deeper.

For example, in a low-energy state, the average person who has low self-esteem will rarely take the steps needed to confront their condition and create change. They might understand it very well. They might be highly aware of the moments when they are not following their true impulses. But they lack the energy to make progress.

Once you feel filled with energy, this changes. But the process can nonetheless be tortuous.

In a higher-energy state, the individual with low self-esteem will experience more and more inner pressure to break out of their repetitive self-limiting behaviours.

Let’s look more closely.

Perhaps they feel attracted to someone in their social scene or at work. But they run an inner script that says that they are simply “not good enough” for this person. Thus, they never develop the opportunities which arise to make more connection with them.

After failing once again to make the best of an opportunity, their mind merrily beats them up. “You should have talked to them…” it says. “And you didn’t, you loser!” But this beating up can be borne. They are used to it.

Now, what happens if this individual, with their low self-esteem behaviours, enters a higher energy state?

It is not that they suddenly move towards the person to whom they are attracted. Rather, what happens is that the beating up intensifies! The self-persecution gets notched up to the point where the person’s whole life begins to revolve entirely around making some level of connection, some level of tangible progress.

Eventually, they have literally no choice but to move forwards. The beating up has got to them. And then, when they finally take the step, it feels glorious.

It’s useful to understand that this is how our life-energy works. It looks for opportunities for self-improvement and pushes us towards taking steps. Increase the level of energy and you increase the level of progress. Even though the path upwards will feel at times like torture.

And everyone is initially filled with energy. It is simply that blocks have developed as our thinking mind has, over the years, adopted defensive strategies for dealing with life. Our body fascia and muscle system carry around those strategies. They have hardened to become physically manifest.

There is no point in trying to think our way out. We need only to remove the blocks. And that is a physical process. Bioenergetics, Reichian work, other body-based therapies are the way forwards.

Once the blocks are moving out, our energy will be moving up. And our life, whilst tortuous for a while, will be getting better and better.