Dopamine Addiction - Part 1

Overcoming the Leaving Pattern

To me, one of the most intriguing aspects of the Leaving Pattern is that, in order for us to get stuck in it for long periods, it has to recalibrate our dopamine system. It has to give us pleasure and reward.

Pleasure is important. As humans, we will not do much for long unless we can get some pleasure, either whilst doing it or at the end. Unless those feel-good chemicals start to flow, we will inevitably struggle to stay with something. And I think this is okay. It’s fine to seek pleasure. I consider it a fundamental human need.

In my experience, the greatest and deepest pleasure comes from simply being in my body, in the moment. This state of openness seems to feel intrinsically deep, filled with meaning and just plain pleasurable. The sense of my body, when it feels open, seems to be able to give me the pleasure I need in life.

But remaining in this timeless “now” is really not easy when our nervous system and frontal lobes have in a sense “conspired” to keep so many of our human sensations repressed. It’s not easy to stay open because, whilst we are in that state, repressed feelings also rise towards the surface.

So, typically, we open for a while and then find ourselves closing down to not encounter the next layer of sensation being triggered towards our awareness. This shutting-off happens unconsciously. It is not that most of us seek to be closed. However, it does create an issue with pleasure. If we can’t get pleasure from being open and in our bodies, from where will we get it?

Let’s take a look at a few of the ways that our nervous system has learned to create pleasure when in a disembodied state.

One way is by relaxing into a mostly distracted way of being for a while. Lying on the sofa, flicking through TV channels, occasionally scrolling on our phones and plopping snack foods mechanically into our mouths, feels pleasurable for many of us. We relax - pleasurable. We have a sense of freedom to do what we wish - also pleasurable. And we don’t have to open too deeply because we can constantly distract ourselves.

Another way is through engaging in confrontational or competitive behaviours on social media. If we can create a sense of being “right,” “better” or of “winning,” those pleasure chemicals give us a brief hit.

Another popular means for eliciting dopamine, without having to be really present, is through doing two or more things at once. This is something I most definitely have quite a tendency to do, usually when undertaking the tasks that I consider to be work.

Having multiple “plates” spinning at the same time feels exciting and challenging, like I’m really in the moment. It gets those brain chemicals flowing. But in this state I also find an underlying sense of something not being right. Although my mind is stretched into really staying on track, in order to metaphorically not drop the plates, there is this sense that I’m in an addicted state, simply doing something that gives me a temporary hit.

Finally, acquisitional behaviour like shopping, when we don’t really need to, can also give us a little hit of brain-chemical pleasure.

These above are just a few examples of how our brain has learned to give us a sense of pleasure whilst we are mostly dissociated from the sense of our body. I see myself doing all of these, to some degree. You may have others that your brain has learned.

I think that it is important that we take some degree of slow action to return to our bodies. When I look out at the world, often how it appears to me is as being increasingly full of people doing these kinds of behaviours as a way to get some brain chemicals flowing - to make up for their mostly dissociated state. I think many of our world’s most deep problems have their source here. Cut off from the natural way of getting pleasure, we get into addictive behaviours that take their toll on both us and the planet we inhabit. It’s kind of crazy, especially when you consider that adequately feeling our body, of itself, can give us more than enough pleasure and meaning.

For me, what has worked very well over time is to engage daily with Bioenergetics and Reichian Breathwork. By constantly opening up the muscle groups involved in repression, so bit by bit I feel the awareness coming back down out of my thinking mind and into my body. It is by no means a quick fix. But I do have a sense of doing my bit to truly heal our world.

What has helped to sustain me on this path is seeing the gradual, incremental results in how I can be more present with people in my daily life. Meeting a new person can be a colossal adventure. And, as I become more self-aware, and can get more pleasure from simply feeling my body, so very slowly I need less and less of my “replacement” behaviours to feel good.

I truly hope that you can find your own way to do the same.

Thank you for reading.

Devaraj

(find my books on Amazon here)